ATLFF Alumni Spotlight: Emily Sheskin

Keith Hannigan

Hello, everyone. Once again, this is Keith Hannigan, the Community Engagement Lead for the Atlanta Film Society and the Atlanta Film Festival, and I am here with another edition of the Atlanta Film Festival Alumni Spotlight. My guest today is from the 48th Atlanta Film Festival.

Her film, JESSZILLA, which I watched for the very first time last night, having no idea what the movie was about. But before we proceed, I'm going to be interviewing somebody with a film that I want y'all to see before you watch this interview.

So if you haven't seen the film, find it and watch it (more on this later). Then come back to this, as this conversation will contain spoilers. I'm sorry. And I don't want to ruin it for anyone.

Second, I will be very vulnerable in this interview. I'm a powder keg of emotion, folks. And if it comes out, it comes out. However, it will be true. It's going to be genuine. It's going to be real. And this is why we do what we do, isn't it?

With that. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I give to you the director of the Atlanta Film Festival 2023 Best Documentary Feature Special Jury Mention, Emily Sheskin. Emily, welcome.

Emily Sheskin

Thank you so much for having me.

KH

Well, thank you for saying yes. So… Okay, we're going to get right into it.  I watched Jesszilla last night. In the world of professional wrestling, there is a term called a “mark.” It's taken from the carny world, basically saying I’m your prime demographic.

I say all that to say this. Emily, I am a mark for this film.

I had an idea this film was about a female boxer. That's all I really knew. My wife calls me as I’m at a specific scene we will get to, and I’m sobbing. I told her what happened, and she and I both had the same question for you: what were you feeling when you found out that Jesselyn Silva was sick? And where were you when you found out?

ES

We obviously filmed over quite a long period of time. We started when she was 10. And when she was 15, I had a general idea of what I wanted to make. I love the Up Series. I wanted to create something similar to the Up Series for an Olympian.

Obviously, with kids, they grow up so fast. We were not present every day. We structured our shoot around competition moments in the year. And then we would always have these lifestyle shoots, where we weren't sure what would happen. And I remember… It was June and then July, and we had on the calendar a sort of when school's out, and I wanted Pedro to go back to school shopping with Jess, or just some scene like that. Pedro was like, “Are you okay if we push it? Jess just isn't feeling well.” I was like, oh, absolutely. Let us know when she's feeling better. You don't think it's brain cancer. 

Pedro and I became quite good friends during the filming of this movie. He kept calling and letting me know she just kept getting god-awful headaches. He was asking if I ever had a headache so bad I vomited.  And I was like, yeah. I have migraines, and that happened. We both discussed seeing a doctor, but it's probably migraines.

Then, nothing. Finally, I remember he called me after they saw the eye doctor, and he said the eye doctor had seen something in the back of Jessalyn's head. He's telling me they’re going to the emergency room. They think it's a tumor.

And I was like, okay, please keep me posted. Nothing about the film. Just two friends talking about what's happening now.

Pedro needed someone to talk to who wasn't a member of his immediate family because he thought, "If I told my mom, she's going to freak out." And he was trying really hard to stay measured.

Now my fiancé works in healthcare data. I was worried. And I had said to him, you know, they think that she may have a tumor, like I don't know anything about this. And he said, just hope it's not a glioblastoma. He then talked about how this was one of the most aggressive and difficult forms of cancer to treat.

Three days later, Pedro called me and told me that it was a glioblastoma, and I just remember it was like an out-of-body experience. I just remember feeling shocked, numb, and upset.  I didn't want to cry because I didn't want to frighten Pedro, as I was getting this news secondhand.  But I was devastated. And then he was devastated. Then we sort of just liked keeping in touch and crying on the phone to each other, to be frank.

At this point, the filmmaker thinks, 'The film I made is dead.' It doesn't matter. She won't be going to the Olympics. What matters is her health and having hope and seeing if we can fight this, beat this, whatever it is, and being as supportive as I can for this family whom I love and care about deeply.  I was actually very caught off guard when Pedro said, “Jessalyn is asking me when you're going to come film again.”

I was like gobsmacked. I didn't know how to respond. I just remember asking Pedro how he felt about it. I'll never forget his response. He said, “Things are changing really fast for Jess, and you guys have been part of her normal, and I don't want her to feel like a cancer kid. So, I want to do what's going to make her feel normal.”

I said, 'Okay, we'll do what we always do.' She initially wanted to tell the story of how she got to the Olympics. It was something she was enthusiastic about. So, every year, I wanted to make sure she was still enthusiastic about this. When we got on the phone, I said your Dad mentioned you were asking when we were going to film. I said, frankly,  the movie has changed. We're no longer focused on the Olympics. We're focused on seeing how you can get better and fight this. And so what are your feelings?

She said what is basically our third act; she wanted to show people it was important to be brave in the face of hard things and inspire others, which was something she's always wanted to do.

So, it became my job to translate that and make this film. In many ways, I say now it's about her life and legacy.

KH

I am a father of a three-year-old boy. His mom's very active in his life. I'm happily married to an exquisite wife, and she's a sensational mother, but I work from home, so it's been 24 hours a day, seven days a week, me and this boy.

The relationship between Pedro and Jess… I mean, I don't like your movie. I don't love your movie. I adore your movie. I adore this because I have a relationship with it. I have a relationship with your characters.  And the moment I saw her with a shaved head…(I start crying) I paused my computer and said: No, no, no.

Up to this point in the movie, her toughest challenge was Coach Rog. And I love some of the shots you got where you  see  the defeated look of a teenager. Like, do I really want to do this anymore? If I'm ruining the movie for those who haven't seen it. You should have hit pause when I told you.

ES

No. You know what? I  don't think it actually ruins the movie. Because you just love her so much. That you'll watch in any way. And that's her. That's not me. That's all her

KH

Well, you captured it. Why don't we transition there? This was a short for you first, ya?

ES

I wanted to do something on a woman in a combat sport. It was the era when Dana White said he'd never let women fight in the UFC, and then Ronda Rousey showed up and became an uber-megastar. Now there are women's divisions in the UFC. And I was thinking about how hard, I mean, these athletes that they signed didn't just come from nowhere.

These are women who did this without any hope of making superstar money. And they did it because they loved it. And I thought, what is that experience? Who are these people? I never intended to make a film about.

I had done interviews with a variety of adult female fighters. But then I saw a picture of Jesselyn. It’s in the film. And I was like, who is this kid? 

I wrote to the lady who wrote the article. I asked to be put in touch with the parent or guardian, whoever was available to talk. I wrote them an email explaining that I'm a documentary filmmaker. I would just love to talk, potentially make a film. And I sent it, and I heard nothing for months. 

Then out of nowhere, Pedro was just like, hey, I prayed on it. Let's do it. And I said that's not how this works. Maybe we could just meet in person and chat.

I wanted to ensure this wasn't a helicopter parent, someone trying to live out their dreams through their kid. And I'll never forget it. I showed up. They were in a gym. And Jess is on the bag doing pushups. Circuit training. Pedro sees me. Hey, what's up?  I'm Pedro. We emailed.

Jesselyn looks over and she says, “Poppy, how many rounds have I done?” He's like, I don't know. And I realized this poor man is along for the ride. Not the other way around. He was trying so hard to support his daughter in a way that was at times uncomfortable for him because, yes, it is a dangerous sport, and he could see where this was going, and even the disappointment of win or lose, all of that. They were amazing.

I've never done a film on a young person before. I won't do this unless we can make it a good experience for her. How could they handle attention that comes and goes very fast? Can they handle that if people are saying it's barbaric, you're letting your daughter do this, and putting all these judgments? Will that affect you negatively? 

Let's not do it if it will. We had conversations, and every time, Pedro was like, I thought about it. Let's do it. And so, by the time we actually stepped onto a set, which was in November 2016, a level of trust had been built up and a relationship had formed, because he saw that I genuinely cared about both him and his daughter.

So we had that relationship. When I finished the short, she was amazing. And she kept saying, 'I'm going to the 2024 Olympics.' And it was one of those things where kids say stuff, and I rarely believe them, but I believed her.

So I asked her if she would maybe want us to follow her? And she was like, yeah, sure, why not? It was harder to get Pedro on board. He said, “Yeah, that's fine. But I don't want to be in it.” And I said to him straight up, “ I know you don't love being on camera, but I think it's really weird to do a film about a kid without her parent. So, I completely respect if you don't want to do this.

He ultimately, of course, said yes because of her and her enthusiasm, and here we are. I cried many times making this film, and I still have moments of grief that come up.

But I had an experience in October. Pedro and I were texting because I told him I was at the American Film Showcase with all these amazing directors, many of whom have worked with very famous people. I stood up and discussed my project. I texted Pedro and said it was a really proud moment for me. And I said, 'You know, all these people worked with celebrities, but the fact that I got to work with you guys was priceless. I wouldn't change that for the world. I feel like I was the luckiest filmmaker in the room.’

And for the first time, he said,” I'm really glad that we did the film together.”  I was sobbing in LAX because it meant so much, because I knew he didn't want to do it originally, and he did it for her. 

KH

Pedro is such, for lack of a better word, a character. He was so relatable to me.

ES

He had Jess when he was 21 years old. Pedro and I are the same age.  He always talks about how his kids changed his life. He looks at how he grew up, and did the opposite. And a lot of that was just being present. It isn't an indictment of his single mom at all. But what he's talking about is being able to give his kids time. And I always thought that was such a wise thing for someone who, I mean, think about it, a 21-year-old saying the best thing I can give my kids is his presence.

KH

Was there ever a conversation about the mom being involved in this project?

ES

Yes, at the beginning, Pedro made it very clear that he was a single parent, that he had a relationship, like a co-parent situation with her mom, but she was off-limits.

I'm not really making a film about her, I'm making a film about the two of you. We joked at one point that we were going to call the film Good Dads because there are so many moments about good men who are fathers that are present in their kids' lives through the sport.

We haven’t seen many films about the experience of a single father. And that's why this was special too. And I wanted to celebrate that in a way. And if there were a single mom, no one would be saying, ‘Where's the dad?/ I was surprised at how many people, after seeing the short, were like, ‘Where's mom?’

I remember saying to Pedro when we started the feature, ‘ Just so you know, this is going to come up. I want to be respectful of your boundary.’ I'm going to ask you about your parental situation. You can say what you want, and you can leave it at that. And that's in our film. He says, I am a single parent, you know, but she's cool with her mom, you know, whatever.

We're at the Chicago Humanities Festival. There's a woman,  and she asks Jess a question. “You've said a lot about your dad. What about your mom?”

And I don't remember the answer that Jess gave on stage. But afterwards, I asked her how it made her feel. No camera. And we had a conversation about it, and I asked her, 'Do you want to say something about this?' 

And she did. That's also reflected in our film. However, it took a very long time for us to reach that point. Jess was very protective of her mom. She didn't want people judging her mom. She loves her mom. And I wanted to respect that while also understanding that an audience is going to ask that question.

So, I wanted to give them the chance to answer it, and that's what we did.

Ultimately, I don't find it particularly relevant. To me, this is a film about a single father and a daughter. And so that's what my movie is about.

KH

The most powerful moment is when she pops up with a shaved head. What was the audience's response to that scene?

ES

I think a lot of people don't know about brain cancer. I don't think in many ways people realize that she had what most doctors, I think, would call an unbeatable cancer, unfortunately. When they first see it, there is a moment of shock or confusion about what's going on. There's a gasp or that kind of thing. However, there's an assumption that this will be something she can overcome.

When I premiered this at the Atlanta Film Festival, she was still with us. It was so important to me that the movie come out while she was still with us. So, we've worked hard to ensure that it would be something she saw. And she loved it. She loved our movie. She loved getting pictures at every festival we went to.

We conducted several educational screenings where kids from around the US wrote personal letters about how she inspired them and how she reminded them that they can accomplish difficult things and tackle challenges. That was so meaningful, and we are grateful that we got to give her that experience, even though she was too sick to attend any of the festivals. When she passed away in August 2024, that's when we felt we had to update our film and give it a proper ending, dedicating it to her, of course. And so you know, the bulk of that experience of showing people was hard because the film would end, and they would assume that she had beaten it, asking Where is she? How is she doing?

She lived for three years past her diagnosis, which is so rare. That's approximately 0.5% of people who receive this diagnosis who survive that long.

She had good years.  There were moments that weren't great, but then she would come back, and it was like, ' This kid is a miracle.  How is she doing this? ' But at the end, it's a difficult disease. It robs you of your ability to speak, to communicate, and to see. And so it was important to me that we honor her in a way that preserved her dignity, allowing us to remember her the way I think she would have wanted to be remembered.

And then your question was about audiences. So I haven't seen this version with audiences, but we did a lot of education screenings, and we showed this to kids from fifth grade to seniors in high school. And that moment of the shaved head plays very differently depending on whether you're with adults or kids.

I remember distinctly that we were in Nashville, and I was sitting in the back because I was curious to see how a group of students would respond to it. Terrifying experience because kids are very honest. However, I was amazed at how taken they were with the film. And I just remember hearing a little voice when her head was shaved, asking what happened?

It broke my heart. That was one of the few moments when I almost wanted to stop the movie. However, part of why I believe this is an important movie for families is that kids are often much smarter than we give them credit for. They experience loss, they experience death. It may not be with a sibling, God forbid, but it may be with a grandparent or parent. And it's important that they feel it's okay to talk about these things, and we don't, in some ways, try to protect them too much, because this is stuff that they go through. 

I wanted to say something, though. I appreciate how emotional the film made you, and it makes me emotional too. But I still don't think we made a sad film. And that is a testament to Jesselyn. I don't want to minimize her spirit because even in the face of this.

I mean, part of why we cry is because she was so inspiring, and it's so unfair. I just want to say to people, we did not make a cancer film. We made a film about a remarkable young woman. So, please go see it and remember her and her spirit, and take that bravery with you. I think every time I am faced with something hard, I literally say, What would Jesselyn do? How would she handle this? How would she talk to me about this? Even when I'm crying over her, I can hear her being like, get it together, Emily. Have fun. Embrace every day and live it to the fullest, cultivating an appreciation for life. I hope people will take away that from our film. 

KH

Yes! See JESSZILLA! (More about that in a moment) What are you up to these days? 

ES

I just came from the Big Sky Film Festival, where I have a new short film, which is a very different film. It's a short about a grandmother who finds an audience live streaming herself doing jigsaw puzzles on Twitch. The film is also a little about community. And loneliness, as well as the importance of connection. But it's a lot of fun, and it's six minutes. 

KH

That's fantastic. I'm glad you're busy. I'm glad to hear and watch your next project. I am a fan of you. How can people JESSZILLA?

Author's Note: At the time of this interview, it had yet to be determined when and where the film would screen outside of a small theatrical run supporting Cure Childhood Cancer. An Atlanta-based organization. You can do this by clicking here. But on June 27th, JESSZILLA will be available to stream on Google, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime!

KH

Why this fund?

ES

This is what she wanted. She wanted people to know about brain cancer, about brain cancer awareness, have empathy for all the kids who were going through this, and to give people hope. They always talked about how they're going to be a light in a dark situation. And we are continuing the work that she started.

KH

How can people find you for updates? 

ES

You can follow us on Instagram, which is at jeszzilathefilm. Also, one more thing. If you don't have the means to donate to curechildhoodcancer.org and you love our film, please consider rating us on Letterboxd. Give us five stars and share your experience with others. Follow us and engage with us on social media. All of that is free to do and really helps our outreach.

It's essential to note that we are a small. I made this with three people. It is not Netflix. We do not have an army of marketers or money behind us. It has been a labor of love. It means a lot when we're able to talk to people like you, when the Atlanta Film Society shows its support, and we get that feedback. That is really, really meaningful for us and for Pedro. So please. 

KH

What is a piece of advice that you would give to any aspiring filmmaker? What would you tell the 21-year-old version of you? 

ES

That there's a very good chance that you will not make money making a documentary, and that you do it because you feel like you can't walk away. And so if you are ever lucky enough to find that thing that you can't walk away from. Do everything you can to complete it safely and effectively.  Don't go into debt over it. 

When I started, digital was just emerging as a concept. Now I see people creating things with their iPhones, and it's pretty impressive. If that's what you have, and that's what you can use to make a film without going into debt, and you feel that thing, then that's how you do it. It's really important to be mindful of what you're doing and why you're doing it.

Another thing I would say is that filmmaking, like anything, is a craft. You need to practice. Learn how to make things small that you can afford, and see it almost like a hobby that you would put time, energy, and effort into, and continue to hone that skill. So that way, when you do find the thing that you can't walk away from. You have all of those years of practice.

KH

That's a great piece of advice 

ES

Yeah, and when I say this is my first feature, people are like, Oh, your first feature!

And then I tell them, 'Yeah, but I've been doing this for 20 years.' I felt that the subject matter (Jesselyn) needed the feature-length time.

 KH

Well, Emily, thank you for your story. Thank you for taking me on such a wonderful ride. Thank you for showing me what a truly exceptional father looks like. Thank you for letting Jesselyn Silva inspire me. Thank you for talking to me about it. And thank you for being you.

ES

Of course. Thank you for having me. You know, savor every minute of it. I know Pedro would say, and we can end with this, no matter how hard it's been. I know he can look back and have no regrets in many ways because he was there, and he was the kind of parent that he wanted to be for her and her siblings. And so I think that's a beautiful, beautiful gift that he was able to give her, and she was able to give him.

KH

And they were able to give to us through you. Bravo. This has been another episode of Atlanta Film Festival Spotlight with me, Keith Hannigan. You can follow us on Instagram, Twitter or X, Facebook, and TikTok. Just look up the Atlanta Film Festival.

You can look up the Atlanta Film Society. On Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and TikTok as well.

And if you're an alum of the Atlanta Film Festival who would like to take part in one of these interviews, we'd love to have you. Just email me at keith@atlantafilmfestival.com. And on that note. To be continued…